Last Year At Hogwarts
by Lilsi
Summary: (Completed) What happens when Sirius tells Snape about Remus for revenge. Can Remus grow to trust Sirius again... set about 2 yrs after Thoughts and Wishes
1. Default Chapter

**Last Year at Hogwarts **

**DISCLAIMERS:** I don not own Black, Lupin, Potter, Pettigrew, Evans, Snape, McGonagall, Dumbledore or any other characters I mention in this fic. Nor do I own any Harry Potter Material.... I also do not own Halo – All or Nothing.... If I did, Sirius and Remus would be lovers and HP would be XD Mwhahaa cough -. I am not making any money out of this story either... though it is costing to print it out for people mumbles....

**PARING:** Sirius Black and Remus Lupin

**SUMMERY:** Kind of like the second chapter to Thoughts and Wishes, so you want to read that first.... Sirius loves Remus, Remus loves Sirius, Snape gets in the way, what happens when Sirius tells Remus' secrete to Snape for revenge. What happens to their relationship?

**RATING:** R

**WARNING:** Contains mild Slash... Mwhahaa ... well I say mild -  
  
**A/N:** Paragraphs go from, Sirius to Lupin to Sirius to Lupin, swapping P.o.v for each paragraph

**Chapter 1**

(Starts with Sirius' P.o.v)

My last year at Hogwarts, I'm going to miss this place, the long corridors and passageways, I'm going to miss our nigh time trips out of the castle, and our moonlit romps around the Forbidden Forest and Hogsmeade, but most of all I'm going to miss this, just sitting here with the others while we plan our next prize winning joke on Snivelus. Most of all I will miss him, Remus Lupin, as he sits there hiding a grin and sighing at our plans.

* * *

I'm going to miss all of this, as I sit and watch them planning against Snape. Hiding my grin I let out a fake sigh, meeting his gaze I grin at him, Sirius Black. I will miss him most of all, not being with him all the time is to hard to think about, so I think about now. As I sit next to him on the couch with him absently stoking my leg, while planning with the others. James is fine and used to our open shows of affection but peter… well he still holds the discomfort and slight distaste.

* * *

We are in the common room alone, James is out with Lily, after she finally agreed to go out with him, and Peter went up to the Library as soon as James had gone.

I sit with him leaning against me, as he reads a book out with his soft tones floating throughout the air calming me and soothing me. I close my eyes and let his voice seep into me. I love this just sitting here with him, relaxing in each others company, as his slight body leans against me in a comforting weight, and his voice which can send me to sleep, sooth away pain, and send me into fervour floats around the room.

* * *

I sit reading to him, I remember when I first did this with him, I was so embarrassed at first that my words were so quiet and mumbled out that even I could barely understand them, but then I relaxed against him and the words started to come out again….he fell asleep that night as I read to him.

I grin as I read when I feel his hands start to stroke my neck, and then play with my hair… I carry on reading in my lazy tone, I feel him lean forward wrapping his arms around me and nuzzling into my neck…. I reach the end of the chapter and put the book down. I turn around and faced him, Snape!....... I wake up eyes wide, "Snape" I whisper… I don't sleep again that night thinking, I had been reading to Sirius earlier but then Peter came back and we went up to the dormitory….. "Oh what am I going to say"?

* * *

"SNAPE" I'm shouting and I don't care who hears, "How could……I mean" I let out a weary sigh barely whispering "Snape". I look up at Remus, his eyes have tears in them and I can tell he doesn't know what to do, I step forward and brush a hand across his cheek, he closed his eyes and grabs my hand as if scared he may lose the touch. "Oh god Sirs" I pull him close to me and hold him "No Rem I'm sorry…. I shouldn't have shouted at you like that…. I was just….well it's Snape Rem" I let out a muffled laugh as my head was buried in Remus' hair.

* * *

I can't help but feel slightly sorry for Snape, after I told Sirius about the dream he had been piling on the punishment. I hear Snape's calls as I walk across the grounds, watching as Sirius and James dangle Snape Upside-down, I let out a muffled laugh… yes poor Snape but it's still very amusing.

Sirius grins as he sees me his eyes twinkling…. "BLACK, POTTER WHAT ARE YOU DOING DROP HIM AT ONCE" McGonagall's voice carried along the grounds, I see Sirius' grin widen… I watch as Snape falls the floor "THAT WAS NOT WHAT I MEANT" McGonagall screamed. I watch as McGonagall grabs both James and Sirius and pushes them towards the castle, Sirius winks at me as he is pushed by.

* * *

I run into the common room with James beside me, "Two Weeks Detention" Peter is gawfing "You two are so cool" he says, I jump onto Remus "What do you think then" I watch as he rolls his eyes in mock annoyance "why do you do it" he asks I just grin at him and settle myself against his chest more comfortably.

"Why do you do it" he asks again, James and Peter had gone off to the kitchens to get celebration food for the detentions. He's looking at me with his deep emotional eyes, showing his wonder… "I do it for You Rem" I answer truthfully and kiss him, the kiss was deep and passionate, as we break apart I whisper "it's always for you", he nuzzled into my neck and I stroke his velvety hair.

* * *

I walk along the corridor humming to myself, class is over and I'm going to meet Sirius by the Herbology Hut. "Where's your boyfriend Lupin" I turn to face Snape who was leaning against the wall, sneering. "I would be careful about what you say Severus" his sneer spread even wider across his face, "Oh really, well I don't see your pretty boyfriend to protect you, so maybe it would be you who should be careful" he stepped away from the wall and strode towards me. He was standing in front of me sneering, with his wand pointed at my chest, "well Remus what are you going to do to stop me" I just stared at him a small smile playing on my lips "Nothing Severus nothing at all" my calm voice seemed to unnerve him slightly. I grinned more as he lowered his wand, I looked into his face my grin fading at what I saw….

I tried to take a step back from his but he grabbed my arms, "GET OF ME" I yelled but he was ignoring me, he pushed me against the wall sneering…

* * *

"Get of Me" I heard Remus' cry. I was heading towards the Herbology Hut; I was slightly late after being threatened by McGonagall for messing around in her lesson. I ran around the corner... my eyes widening, Remus was being pinned against the wall, I let out a deep growl in my throat and made towards Snape… I had just gotten my wand out when he did it….

* * *

I tried to move my head away but Snape with his slithery movements managed to get me before I could turn my head fully…His cold lips pressed against mine with his tongue trying to slide its way into my mouth… I kept my eyes open trying to push him off me, his cold eyes gleamed into mine with what looked like triumph….

"STUPEFY"

Snape fell to the floor unconscious, I stepped away from him and fell down to the floor wrapping my arms around my legs rocking.

* * *

"STUPEFY" I growled, my voice containing the fury and loathing I had never felt before… I watched as he fell to the floor, Remus practically ran away from his falling form. I watched as he crumpled to floor and started to rock… "Rem…" I ran up to him… kneeling so I was in front of Remus I reached out a hand to brush his hair away from his face….he pulled away from the touch as if scared… "Rem, it's me Rem, It's Sirs"… the sound of his nickname for me made him stop rocking; he slowly looked up into my face… He had been crying and was shaking… I reached my arm around him and pulled him into an embrace. He was cradled in my lap and I was rocking him when James came running around the corridor holding the Marauder's Map in his hands. "What happened" his eyes were wide as he took in the scene… I looked at him the anger still showing in my eyes "later James later" I whispered…. I picked Remus up in my arms and started to carry him back towards the common room.

* * *

"I'm so sorry Sirs" I whispered a few hours later, Sirius had carried me to the common room leaving Snape's unconscious form on the ground floor corridor. Sirius looked down at me startled; I had been lying on his lap as he stroked my hair. "What are you saying sorry for Rem, it's that Bastard Slim Balls fault, and you couldn't have stopped him" he soothed still stroking my hair. I often wondered why Sirius stayed with me and how I was so lucky just to be able to have him to myself…. I let out another set of small sobs into his lap…. "I'm sorry I'm so weak, I'm sorry I'm not strong like you are, like James is... You would never have let Snape do that to you….I…" "Stop it Rem…You are strong, What you go through each month…..how you strive to achieve the best marks you can get in everything you set your heart to…." His voice was strong and full of emotion… "I never would be able to do what you do Rem, what you go through, I would never….." his voice broke of from its whispered statement.

* * *

Potions, we were walking along the corridor James and Peter talking in slightly subdued voices. We were walking through the dungeons towards Potions. I looked over at Remus, his eyes seemed emotionless… there was no sign of the Remus I knew. I reached my arm around his waist and pulled him closer to me, He looked into my eyes and smiled, but it wasn't true. We walked into the class room, and took our seats at the back of the room. Remus stiffened in his seat as Snape walked in, he looked over at us and smiled malevolently… I let out a loud growl gaining me a few startled looks, his smile faded when he heard it. "Sirius, don't play up to him" James hissed.

"You will separate in pairs, for this lesson" called Professor Glean. I moved my stuff closer to Remus… "Oh No Mr Black… Not after last lesson… You will work with Mr Snape today" Professor Glean stated looking at me with her stern glare. I looked over at Snape his face seemed to have paled. Remus looked at me with a worried expression on his face; I placed my hand on his behind his cauldron and smiled at him. I grabbed my ingredients and cauldron and moved next to Snape.

* * *

I watched him from the back of the class I was now working with Lily Evans, she chatted away as she put more rats spleen into our potion. Sirius' face was blank as he stirred their potion, I watched as Snape whispered something and sneered at Sirius, my eyes widened….. Sirius let out another loud growl "YOU SLIMY PIECE OF…"Sirius had jumped on Snape and had started to punch him, the two Slytherins working next to them let out startled cries… "BLACK" Professor Glean was shouting and had moved next to them trying to separate them, "….Pay…What….Did…Him…" Sirius' broken sentence fell through the classroom causing a few people to mummer in question.

* * *

200 House Points and two months detention, Glean was beside herself in anger, "What Were You Thinking, Attacking another Student, What came over you" I didn't say anything, "Well… Black Look At Me NOW" she roared… I looked up at her, the tears showing in my eyes, Glean started at the site of them…. "Black…are you going to tell me what happened" her voice was softer now but still stern, again I said nothing. She let out a loud sigh "Fine Black, you may leave". I walked out of her office "Sirs" Remus called out to me and ran right into my arms… "Oh Sirs I'm sorry, it's all my fault are you ok?" he stroked my hair out my covered eye, I had a bruise developing on my cheek but Snape hadn't been able to do any more harm. "He's a piece of filth" Remus nodded, he wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his head in my chest… "Oh sirs why did you do it" I stroked Remus' hair and lifted his chin up "For you Rem, for You" I leaned down and kissed his lips deeply, he pressed closer to me as I ran one hand down his back and let the other stroke through his hair. I heard a few muffled giggles as we kissed but I didn't care.

* * *

A week had past since the incident, Sirius had managed to knock out a few of Snape's teeth, given him two black eyes a broken nose and various bruises over the rest of his gangly body. We were walking down the corridor when I heard it; two girls were whispering down at the bottom of the corridor, tonight was the full moon so my senses were all heightened… "Sirius and Remus together….really…ohhh" they watched our group approach them; they were watching both me and Sirius. Sirius frowned when he saw them but carried on walking. Once we were out of ear shot he looked at me, "what was that about" he mumbled slightly irritated "They know about us" I said smiling slightly at his face, "they know….how?" he frowned "how could they….oh…Oh" his eyes widened slightly and he grinned. "How Sirs" I asked knowing he knew how they had known about us. "Outside Gleans office, some people had seen us kissing, I heard them giggling, but I forgot" he was grinning sheepishly, "Ah well" I said as we carried on up to Divination I heard James laugh behind us.

* * *

I was sat next to James Remus was still in the Hospital Wing but was coming out some time today. I kept getting glances from people who kept whispering to whoever they were sat next to, I poked at my lamb chops getting slowly more annoyed because of getting stared at. "Why aren't you eating" James said through a mouthful of mashed potatoes… just then two girls sat opposite me burst into a fit of giggles as they stared at me, James raised his eyebrows at them and shook his head….. "What Are You Laughing At" I growled at the girls who suddenly stopped giggling at my heated voice, they looked at me with worried expressions "nothing" they said together and hurried out of the Great Hall "Sirius" James said his voice light with laughter.

* * *

Nearly a month had past and the rumours about me and Sirius were still running around… We were sat in the common room; I watched as Sirius played Peter at Chess, Peter was winning of course… he seemed to have a great skill at the game. Sirius' Queen was knocked down by Peters Bishop... "Aw not again" Sirius let out a muffled moan and leaned back against the chair… "Want another game" peter suggested hopefully, "Nah I don't think I can be bothered to be beaten again" Sirius grinned at Peter. "What about you Remus, want a game" "no thanks Peter I'm studying" I was near the end of a Transfiguration book for N.E.W.T revision. "You need a break" Sirius grinned at me, "yea all you do is revise" peters squeaky voiced piped "well not all he does" Sirius laughed as peter went red, I shook my head and went back to reading… "How about exploding snap" Sirius suggested…

Lily and James walked in a short while later, but they weren't smiling, "what's happened" I said looking as James angered face. "Snape, he's the one spreading the rumours about you two" I sighed "Don't worry they will die down, and anyway it doesn't matter if people find out it doesn't affect them" I replied plainly, I looked over at Sirius and for a moment saw something flash in his eyes.

* * *

A/N: Hope you like the first chapter hehe, Review Please - x


	2. Chapter 2

**Last Year at Hogwarts **

**DISCLAIMERS:** I don not own Black, Lupin, Potter, Pettigrew, Evans, Snape, McGonagall, Dumbledore or any other characters I mention in this fic. Nor do I own any Harry Potter Material.... I also do not own Halo – All or Nothing.... If I did, Sirius and Remus would be lovers and HP would be XD Mwhahaa cough -. I am not making any money out of this story either... though it is costing to print it out for people mumbles....

**PARING:** Sirius Black and Remus Lupin

**SUMMERY:** Kind of like the second chapter to Thoughts and Wishes, so you want to read that first.... Sirius loves Remus, Remus loves Sirius, Snape gets in the way, what happens when Sirius tells Remus' secrete to Snape for revenge. What happens to their relationship?

**RATING:** R

**WARNING:** Contains mild Slash... Mwhahaa ... well I say mild -  
  
**A/N:** Paragraphs go from, Sirius to Lupin to Sirius to Lupin, swapping P.o.v for each paragraph

**Chapter 2**

(Starts with Sirius' P.o.v)

****

The night of the full moon, "All you have to do is touch the knot and go through the tunnel"…. Words I would soon regret.

"You Told Him" James screamed at me, and ran through the portrait.

"What ever possessed you Sirius, What made you risk another student's life? Did you even think about what would have happened if Remus had gotten him? What would have happened to Remus Himself?" Dumbledore was angry he wasn't shouting but his voice was steely and calm, the twinkle in his warm eyes had gone and he was looking thoroughly disappointed. "I….I don't know… I just wanted to stop him…" "Stop him" Dumbledore sighed "Sirius you cant stop certain things, they just are" he looked at me and sighed again. After a minute's silence he started talking again "Severus will not tell anyone what he witnessed tonight… I hope you have not taken this lightly Sirius…you may leave" I walked out of his office with my head down, whishing for once that I had left Snape well alone "I'm sorry Rem" I whispered as I headed towards the hospital wing.

* * *

"How could you do that to me" I cried as Sirius let tears fall down his face showing his regret and sorrow. "I'm so sorry Rem" "Don't call me that" my voice sounded cold and harsh even to my ears, Sirius stopped tears running down his face, he looked at me stood up and walked out of the wing.

I went back to classes three days later, my first lesson was Defence Against The Dark Arts, it was my favourite subject and I excelled in it more than any other of my subjects. I sat down at the back of the classroom; I had arrived early for the lesson so it was about 10 minutes before any others started to turn up. James and Peter walked in followed by a very subdued Sirius…. He looked a wreck, he had dark circles under his eyes, his normally smooth and silky groomed hair was messed and he looked thinner than usual….or was this just me, could he have lost weight in three days… my eyes widened slightly at the sight of him, but then I remembered….. He betrayed me… ME…

James saw me first; he looked unsure what to do.

Sirius was at the end of the table, and I was on the other end, he watched me for the whole of the lesson, I could feel his cool grey eyes watching me, those eyes I loved so much… But I did not turn to look into them, I carried on with my work the pain in my chest growing but I would not turn to face him…not now.

* * *

Nearly two months now and he still wouldn't look at me, wouldn't talk to me… I didn't know what to do and I didn't care about anything else… I didn't sleep and if I did I fell into nightmares and I would fall into the nightmares after hours of exhausting crying… James had said I had lost weight and was beginning to make sure I was eating at meals now… a few other people seemed to have noticed my sudden appearance and loss of emotion. "Sirius you need to talk to him" Dumbledore had called me into his office to say this, I laughed "Oh yes I forgot to try that method" my sarcastic voice rang cold… so unlike me that Dumbledore seemed to be stunned for a moment, "Mr Black you need to keep trying for both your sakes"….

I was walking through the castle, I did this most nights when everyone had gone up to bed I would leave through the portrait and walk the dark corridors. It calmed me; the quietness soothed me. So I would walk…. When I climbed back through the portrait and into the common room I saw him sat there, in one of the large armchairs in front of the fireplace… his cool gaze landed on me, staring at me, or through me… my heart is beating so fast, his eyes leave me and go back to watching the fire…

"Remus" I walked towards the fireplace and sat down on the armchair opposite him, he still wouldn't look at me though. "Please Remus" my voice cracked full of fear, tenderness and regret. He looked up slowly from the fire, his eyes emotionless, so cold compared to what used to be in there… the loyalty I made him loose the trust, I feared more than anything that I would never be able to gain his trust again.

* * *

I took my eyes from the fire and looked at him; I took in his features for the first time since the Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson. He looked bad, he had definitely lost weight his robes hung loosely around his once toned frame, his eyes seemed to have sunk into his face and seemed lifeless grey rather than the vibrant grey eyes I knew so well and his once silky hair was dulled and untamed. A tear ran down my cheek… I had caused this, I had made him loose something inside him, I cursed myself in my head. "Sirius, why did you do it" he looked at me in surprise "I thought you knew why" my brow crinkled in puzzlement "I did it because I wanted to make sure he would leave you alone, I did it so he would never try to touch you again… to show him how strong you actually are, because of what you have to live with what you have to go through, like I knew he could never go through because unlike you he is spineless and weak" Sirius' voice was full of sincerity and truth. His eyes held a fire in them as if it was fuelled by what he was saying or as if he was trying to burn the truth into myself. He looked down and played with the hem of his robe, "I.." but before I could finish what I was going to say he let out a whispered sigh and as if talking to himself "I did it for you… as I do everything for you". Tears were running down both of our cheeks now, "I'm so sorry Rem… so very sorry" at this he got up and ran back out of the common room before I could stop him.

* * *

I was running, I couldn't take what he was going to say, I wouldn't be able to hear him say, No or I don't ever want to see you again… so I ran. I came to a stop at the Whomping Willow; its seemingly innocent and lifeless branches were swaying in the night's cool breeze. I sat and watched it just staring at its deadly innocence, I sat and I planned for hours until I finally stood up and walked back to the common room.

* * *

Even though I tried I could not get Sirius to himself, I wanted to tell him I forgave him, that I love him that I wanted him back and I trusted him. That it was I who was wrong, not knowing or wanting to know why he did it. But I couldn't, he slipped past me every time I nearly had him to myself. The strain of not being able to talk to him and the N.E.W.Ts we were now taking was getting to me, I had been revising constantly and trying and failing to talk to Sirius…. "Remus, want a game of chess" Peter's annoyingly squeaky voice entered my ears and I snapped… "NO I DON'T WANT TO PLAY CHESS… I WANT TO REVISE AND I WANT TO TALK TO SIRIUS BUT I CAN'T DO EITHER WITH YOU SQUEAKING IN MY EAR" my eyes flashed dangerously and Peter virtually ran away from me, I heard him mutter an apology as he quickly left.

Peter had told James about my little…well large outburst and he had tried to talk to me but I just snapped at him to leave me alone and to stay out of it. He backed of reluctantly with a frustrated sigh, "Fine Moony, but if you want to talk I'm here ok" his serene voice calmed me slightly and I just nodded as he walked off again.

* * *

The N.E.W.Ts were finally over and I found it harder and harder to avoid Remus, he seemed dedicated to getting me on my own, but I had managed to keep avoiding him. I didn't want him to give me his final words yet, not until I had at least tried… and so far my planning was going well, it was all set up and planned… all for the last years Final Ball… only after that will I let him speak to me, so I kept dodging and hiding from him.

* * *

I don't know why I'm going, but James had kept bugging me, so I gave in. I looked in the mirror at my reflection. Ice Blue Silk Dress Robes, with a lavender hem. As we walked towards the great hall Lily had said it brought out the colourings in my hair and eyes, I blushed slightly and thanked her. As we walked into the Great Hall I wondered where Sirius was as I looked around for his familiar tall form in the crowd or his warm smile I even listened for his barking laughter but I couldn't find him at all.

* * *

I looked in the mirror, I had been making an effort since I had come up with my plan, I had been eating more and going back to my Quidditch practice which now showed again on my toned chest, I grinned slightly as I pulled my dress robe over my head…. So vain as always I thought to myself. I had two fine plats at the front of my hair, which had now gone back to is former silky glory, they hung in front of my ears while the rest of my hair was tuck behind my ears. I grinned as I looked at myself now fully in my Dress Robes. I saw myself grinning in the mirror, Black Velvet Dress Robes with a Silver stitched pattern running throughout it; I looked at the pattern which flowed throughout the entire surface of the Dress Robes, giving the impression of silver water as it reflected the light that shone onto the pattern. My face grew serious as I nodded and walked towards the Ball… "Ready or not Remus" I said as walked out of the portrait hole.

* * *

A/N: Well hope your liking it so far... Ohh what will happen next .. Review please - x 


	3. Chapter 3

**Last Year at Hogwarts **

**DISCLAIMERS:** I don not own Black, Lupin, Potter, Pettigrew, Evans, Snape, McGonagall, Dumbledore or any other characters I mention in this fic. Nor do I own any Harry Potter Material.... I also do not own Halo – All or Nothing.... If I did, Sirius and Remus would be lovers and HP would be XD Mwhahaa cough -. I am not making any money out of this story either... though it is costing to print it out for people mumbles....

**PARING:** Sirius Black and Remus Lupin

**SUMMERY:** Kind of like the second chapter to Thoughts and Wishes, so you want to read that first.... Sirius loves Remus, Remus loves Sirius, Snape gets in the way, what happens when Sirius tells Remus' secrete to Snape for revenge. What happens to their relationship?

**RATING:** R

**WARNING:** Contains mild Slash... Mwhahaa ... well I say mild -  
  
**A/N:** Paragraphs go from, Sirius to Lupin to Sirius to Lupin, swapping P.o.v for each paragraph

**Chapter 3**

(Starts with Remus' P.o.v)

The songs were playing; Dumbledore had arranged different bands to play through the whole of the night including some school bands... I laughed as I remembered Sirius had joined a school band for Gryffindor at the beginning of the year, I wondered silently if he was going to play tonight.

I sat drinking some pumpkin juice when it happened, Dumbledore introduced them... the lights shone on them, and I found myself staring in wonder at Sirius.

He was beautiful, so handsome in his Dress Robes, the velvet cloth seemed to flow around him like liquid, the silver actually looking like water woven within the Robes, his hair was shining in its glory again with two small plats swaying as his head moved around scanning the crowd. He stopped as they landed on me; he smiled as he began to sing the first of his three songs.

He was always the performer; his strong voice rang throughout the hall as people danced to the song... I watched as he played the star winking at the girls who were gawping at him making some blush and others giggle, I watched and let his soothing voice flow through me. When he finally reached his last song his face seemed to grow slightly nervous...

* * *

The light shone on us as I scanned the crowd, when they finally fell upon him my face broke out into a true smile. He was amazing, he looked so amazing.

He had to be the closest thing to an angel that I had ever seen, his Ice Blue Dress Robes reflecting the light making him look like he had an aurora radiating around him. The lavender hem working with his skin tones and hair, it all brought out his most amazing feature... his eyes. They seemed to glow with life, such beautiful eyes that you could drown in if he allowed you to go deep enough into them, into his soul.

I had finished my second song it was now or never, I swallowed now nervous I closed my eyes and took a breath. "Slowing the rate down now, but not by much, this if for all you cute couples, I flashed a grin over at James and Lily, and began to sing... I kept my eyes on him the whole time, so he knew the song was meant for him.

* * *

He was watching me as he began singing and I knew at once that this was meant for me...I blushed slightly as his eyes gazed at me when he sang...

_"I've seen the angels in your eyes  
At least that's something  
But I don't believe in compromise  
It's all or nothing"......._

I stared at him his graceful movements on the stage as he sang to me...and just to me... my grin spread wider.

* * *

I grin at him; he knows this is his song... I move around the stage but always keeping my eyes on him.

_"Sweat on your skin it tastes so pure - a taste of heaven  
Such nights as these I thank god for, and all is forgiven._

_It's just that you're so beautiful."......._

I can't hear the crowd now; I can only hear my own voice floating around the hall... I can feel my grin spreading wider as I sing... I see him blush slightly.

* * *

_"Fall for me  
Cos I want it all or nothing  
And I'll hold you close to me  
And I'll watch the angels in your eyes  
Give it all to me  
I'll make sure you want for nothing  
And I'll love you endlessly  
And we'll have it all, yeah, you and I."......._

I blush slightly when he sings you're so beautiful, his eyes following me are making me feel giddy and light, I know I'm grinning as wide as he is... I laugh lightly as he twirls on stage, his hair flowing around him and his liquid like Dress Robes flowing around him, I hear a few girls giggle when he does it. But I know all of this performance is for me.

_"I'll do whatever turns you on  
I wanna get closer"......._

He swallows slightly... my brow crinkles in surprise.

* * *

I swallow, the lines I have wanted to tell him, the two lines I know he'll understand... the lines I'm now singing with all the emotion I can put behind the words.

_"I'll make you see you are the one"......._

I'm staring into him as I finish the first line.

_"Of this I am so sure..._

_... It's just that you're so beautiful"......._

I know he understands as I watch his reaction to the words with their hidden meaning.

* * *

I hear the passion he puts behind the two lines and I'm left slightly dazed... You Are The One ... my smile was wiped away for but the briefest of moments, then I start grinning more than anything, more than I have in months...

_"Fall for me  
Cos I want it all or nothing  
And I'll hold you close to me  
And I'll watch the angels in your eyes  
Give it all to me  
I'll make sure you want for nothing  
And I'll love you endlessly  
And we'll have it all, yeah, you and I"..._

* * *

His smile is bigger than I remember, a true smile I haven't seen on his pure features for too long, so long I forgot the power it had over me.... New energy burst in me, and I sang with more passion than I had thought capable.

_"I've seen the angels in your eyes  
At least that's something"._

The song ends and everyone is cheering, I can see him clapping with the crowd, I bow and grin around the room as I walk off. "That was amazing Sirius, you never sang like that in practice" I grinned and walked over to Remus but before I could say anything to him James, Peter and Lily came rushing over...

"Wow you were amazing Sirius" Peters squeaky voice full of admiration, James rolled his eyes behind peters back, "Pretty cool song Padfoot" James winked at me, "You were really good" Lily piped in smiling brightly at me, "I didn't think it would work, it's a muggle song" I grinned at them all. The music came back on and Lily grabbed my hand... "Come on, I have to have a dance with you" "but..." Lily dragged me to the dance floor before I could do anything else.

* * *

I grinned as Sirius was dragged away from me by the cheerful redhead, slightly annoyed that I hadn't been able to speak to him. "Come on dance with us" James called as he and Sirius were now dancing with Lily in the middle laughing away. I blushed and shook my head, Sirius grinned at me and walked over, he grabbed my hand and pulled me into the center of the group, I blushed even more standing like and idiot while everyone tried to get me to dance.

I had finally got away pretending I needed a drink, when Sirius joined me. I smiled bashfully up at him, "You were really good up there" he grinned at me and grabbed my hand.

* * *

A/N: ohh could this be a make up..... Review please - x


	4. Chapter 4

**Last Year at Hogwarts **

**DISCLAIMERS:** I don not own Black, Lupin, Potter, Pettigrew, Evans, Snape, McGonagall, Dumbledore or any other characters I mention in this fic. Nor do I own any Harry Potter Material.... I also do not own Halo – All or Nothing.... If I did, Sirius and Remus would be lovers and HP would be XD Mwhahaa cough -. I am not making any money out of this story either... though it is costing to print it out for people mumbles....

**PARING:** Sirius Black and Remus Lupin

**SUMMERY:** Kind of like the second chapter to Thoughts and Wishes, so you want to read that first.... Sirius loves Remus, Remus loves Sirius, Snape gets in the way, what happens when Sirius tells Remus' secrete to Snape for revenge. What happens to their relationship?

**RATING:** R

**WARNING:** Contains mild Slash... Mwhahaa ... well I say mild –

**A/N:** Paragraphs go from, Sirius to Lupin to Sirius to Lupin, swapping P.o.v for each paragraph

**Chapter 4**

(Starts with Remus' P.o.v)

I ran across the grounds heading towards the lake, I held his hand as he ran beside me... I stopped when I reached the lake; the stars and a nearly full moons dim light shinning down on us. I turned and faced him, the moons light bathing him in its glow, making him more perfect, my breath caught in my throat as I looked at him. The light dancing across his eyes, the light kissing his skin, he was striking. He started blushing as I gazed at him, "Your beautiful you know" my voice was almost a whisper, a slight breeze played across us, I found myself thinking what an amazing painting this scene could make.

* * *

I smiled up at him blushing more so for his compliment. I look at him, the stars shinning upon him, their glistening light playing across his features shinning in his beautiful eyes, he looked like some kind of prince, proud, beautiful, powerful, gentle full of emotion, words that could play against each other, he looked more startling than I could ever remember him being, I found myself being drawn towards him, reaching for his perfectly sculpted lips... surely they were sculpted by the gods themselves.

* * *

He leaned forwards; I moved a hand around his waist leaning in to taste his angel like lips again. I closed my eyes as our lips brushed against each other for the first time in months. The effect of the touch made me shake, uncontrollable quivers ran down my spine, I felt him quiver as well and pulled him closer to my body.

* * *

We both shook as our lips pressed against each others. Our hands roaming over each others long missed and wanted bodies. I moved my hands around his neck as he started to trail kisses on my neck. I let out a low moan as he started to bite and suck on my neck. I pulled him up for another kiss, biting at his lower lips I felt his hands run through my hair.

* * *

I ran my hands through his hair, as he bit at my lip. I deepened our kiss even more, my tongue sliding against his own, I moaned into his mouth as our kisses became more passionate and frantic. My hands began to lift his dress robe up; searching for the lost skin I had once taken for granted. He groaned even more as my hand ran over his now lightly muscled stomach.

I broke the kiss off and looked at him; he was panting but smiling with the sinful smile he used on me to get what he wanted. I grinned and brought a hand against his cheek stroking the soft flushed skin...

* * *

We could hear the music from the Ball playing across the grounds, as we gazed at each other after our passionate kissing spree. "Dance with me Rem" Sirius purred as he stroked my cheek, I smiled up at him and kissed his lips lightly.

We moved with the music that was floating down into our ears, the stars and moon shinning the smooth lake clear, reflecting us as we slowly moved in small circles gazing at each other. I leaned my head against his chest, one of his hands wrapped around my waist and his other sliding up and down my back soothingly I could have stayed with him like this forever.

* * *

I kissed the top of his head as he leaned against me his arms wrapped around my neck and fingers playing with my hair. When the music faded we broke apart smiling at each other. "We should get back" I said while stroking his hair.

We walked back up to the castle holding hands; I grinned at him by the Great Hall and wrapped my arm around his waist.

We walk in with my arm still around his waist, as we walked around looking for James finding him on the edge of the dance floor, he grinned at us as we approached them. "Have fun" he winked at me as he took in my vast grin I laughed and winked back "wouldn't you like to know".

* * *

The night passed quickly as I dances by his side, Dumbledore's voice broke through the crowd at last signaling the end of the Ball, we left the hall in our group all laughing about the nights evens and watching as some people were being scolded by McGonagall for putting alcohol into the punch. Sirius held onto my waist as we made our way back to Gryffindor Tower, I was smiling contently as we walked into our dorm room, James and Peter had stayed in the Common room for a while to give me and Sirius some time to talk, as James had put it grinning madly. I turned and faced Sirius, he was holding the tips of my fingers and looking at me with glazed eyes, I smiled shyly at him. He led me towards my bed pulling the curtains closed for privacy and sat next to me stroking my hand. "I'm so sorry Rem, for what I did I mean, I shouldn't have, I just wasn't thinking...I...I'm just so sorry" he sighed as he hurried the words out; I looked at him slightly staggered and smiled.

"No Sirs, it's me who should be sorry" it was him turn to looks surprised, his brow wrinkled in confusion, "I should have let you explain, but instead I acted like a child, I ignored you and pushed you away. I should have listened, I should have known why you did it, but I didn't care so I let you slip, and doing so I nearly lost you" silent tears were running down my cheeks as I looked up at him, pleading him to forgive me too.

* * *

I looked into his eyes, eyes which seemed to be begging me for understanding and forgiveness; I reached out a hand and gently wiped my thumb over his cheek wiping away the tears. I leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his cheek, I moved slowly and placed another on his eye, I began to rest butterfly kisses all over his face.

I moved my body so I was leaning over him, I placed my hand behind his head, he began to lean backwards pulling me on top of him. I felt his hands slide up my back as I carried on kissing him lightly on his face.

* * *

My hands slid up his back, his kisses though soft filled me with desire, yearning for his touches, touches I hadn't felt in months. His lips pressed against mine softly for the briefest of moments, my breath caught in my throat, I opened my eyes to find him watching me, his beautiful grey eyes staring into me with a yielding and loving desire. He began planting more kisses along my neck, slowly gaining more passion with each kiss.

I let out a low moan as he sucked at my collarbone, biting it softly as he moved back to kiss my lips again.

* * *

I claimed his lips again, opening his mouth with my tongue, causing him to mummer a soft moan into my mouth, I moaned back when I felt his tongue slide against mine, stroking against mine, he let out a low growl and bit at my lower lip. The soft passion I had started was becoming short lived and fading, what would have been a slow and mournful night of love was slowly turning into the passion that was both wanted but was needed. Remus growled again and flipped us over he sat straddling me, I saw him grab his wand and cast a silencing spell around the bed. Grinning up at him I leaned my head upwards I kissed him again, slowly and deeply, but Remus was soon turning the soft kisses into a deep passionate snog. When he bit my lip I felt the cool copper taste fall against my tongue, I pulled back and looked up at him in surprise.

* * *

Sirius looked up at me in shock, I had bitten him for real, I let out a small grin and licked at his lip slowly, sliding my tongue slowly against his lip, lapping the blood I had caused to seep out of his smooth skin. Sirius closed his eyes letting out a low moan as I licked his lip, I pulled away he was breathing hard, I smiled at him, "pleasure from pain" he frowned slightly at my words but pulled me back down for another kiss.

I slid my hands slowly up his arms as I kissed him roughly; I grinned as I grabbed his wrists and pushed them above his head. Sirius let out a startled moan and pulled away from our kiss, "Rem!" his startled eyes poured out his shock, but I could feel that he was not complaining, I grinned at him as I ground my hips against his, I watched as his eyes widened in pleasure, he let out a loud grumble in his throat. I leaned forwards and nipped at his ear, "You've never had me so close to the full moon Sirs" I growled against his ear.

* * *

"You've never had me so close to the full moon Sirs" Remus growled against my ear, I let out a soft whimper, as I realized that the full moon was in fact tomorrow night. Remus had never done anything with me when so close to the full moon and now I understood why... the wolf was taking over... but I had no objections to this new side to Remus I was discovering that night. I growled as he bit my neck, I moved my hands up and down his back clenching at his robes whenever he bit me.

* * *

I felt Sirius' hands clasp at my robes as I bit on his neck again, leaving another fresh bite mark. I sat back up, and slowly began to lift his Dress Robes up over his head... I let out a lustful growl at the site of his muscled chest, which was heaving up and down from his breathing. He slowly pulled my Robes over my head too; trailing his fingers back down my chest I leant down and began to lick a trail over his smooth chest causing him to let out another set of low moans and whimpers. I swirled my tongue around his nipple sucking at it, he whimpered at the touch of my tongue against his skin, playing and nipping at him like he had never known I could. I did the same to his other nipple, sucking and nipping at it, causing it to stand out erect and red against his now heavily heaving chest. His hands had found their way into my hair, as he gripped at it groaning as I teased him.

* * *

I grabbed at Remus' hair, my breath was coming out in short gasps, I could barely breathe the new side to Remus was pulling me in, and I was drowning in his rough, painful but pleasurable touches, I knew I must have had bites and bruises all over my neck and chest but I didn't care, he was making me drown, I needed more, and he knew it... he knew it from the whimpers and moans I was letting out, the cries and the calls that had never been so loud as they had been this night. I slid my arms around his neck as he began to trail down chest with his finger.

* * *

I slowly moved my hands down his muscles chest, now glistening in sweat and saliva... I moved a finger slowly over his taut muscles, and onto his trousers. He growled up at me and I grinned at him, I stroked down his thigh with one hand while the other slowly undid the button on his tight black trousers, he watched me with shining slightly glazed eyes. His eyes closed in desire and pleasure as I unzipped his trousers, my hand brushing against his now obvious hardness.

* * *

My eyes closed as he started to rub his hand against me, He moved his head slowly down my chest, kissing licking and biting, his head moving towards my groin...I felt his tongue move against me, I let out a deep moan. I had never had Remus do this to me before, I would do it to him but Remus seemed to shy, so Remus would use his hands but never his mouth... my breathing became more erratic, as Remus' tongue and mouth played across my tender skin, sliding up and down in a rhythmic pattern, I could hardly breath any more, I began to shake loosing myself against his mouth and tongue I heard myself let out a deep roar as I yelled Remus' name out. I felt him lick me as I began to regain my breath, feeling his lips against mine, tasting my bitterness from his tongue which was sliding back into my mouth. I was breathing heavily; he was twirling a finger around my chest in circles grinning at me, his eyes gleaming in the darkness.

* * *

I swirled my finger across Sirius' chest, he was breathing heavily, I grinned at him his taste still fresh on my tongue. "How was it for you" I grinned, as he let out a contented murmur, his eyes now closed, "Pleasure from pain" he whispered, a slight smile playing on his lips, "yes" I smiled back at him knowing he understood my earlier words. I lay next to him, his arms curling around me pulling me close, he kissed me deeply. His body responding to my kisses again, he moved around me trailing kisses on my back. I felt his tongue against my heated skin, licking down my back; he bit at my hipbone, causing me to let out my own growl. My eyes widened as I felt his fingers press into me, I let out a long groan his other hand wrapping around my chest and his lips kissing my neck, murmuring soothing words between soft and tender kisses. I was soon moaning loudly as he moved in rhythm into me, sweat glistening off both of or bodies as he pushed, I let out a low moan as he hits my G spot my eyes widening I pressed back into him. I felt him stiffen, just after I had, he bit down on my shoulder; my eyes wide open but glazed over. I felt the warmth shoot inside my body, we both collapsed into a heap on the bed, our breathing slowing down, his hand sliding soothingly up and down my back as he kissed my shoulder and back tenderly.

* * *

"Good god what did you do last night" James' voice was slightly higher than usual, but he was grinning, I had pulled the curtains open, to find James sitting on his bed watching, his eyes had nearly fell out when he saw the state of the bed. I scratched at my head and grinned "Good morning to you too James" I walked over to the mirror. I undid my shirt to inspect the damage... "REMUS" I yelled, looking at my chest which now was covered in deep bite marks and bruises. James ran over to look to, eyes widening, "Oh My God Remus what did you DO to him".

* * *

He was back, Padfoot, my mate, I bit at his nuzzle, showing him my dominance, I stood over him, I watched as he lowered his body to the ground in submission.

We ran all night, With the Stag, Prongs and the annoying Rat, Wormtail following behind us. We tuffled and fought and played, he was back, my Bear Dog, Padfoot, my companion, my mate, Mine... forever. I howled up at the moon, Moony they called me, I bared my fangs, the wolf had his mate once again.

* * *

He woke up and I smiled at him "Good morning" I whispered and stroked his cheek. "Good morning" was his sleepy reply, then grinning he added "I think he's glad to have you back". I kissed his lips "I'm glad to have you back... I love you Rem" I kissed him again. "I love you too" came his husky reply and he kissed me back.

* * *

I woke up "Good morning" came his tender greeting as he caressed my cheek. "Good morning" my sleepy voice replied to him, I grinned remembering the night "I think he's glad to have you back". Sirius kissed me and whispered "I'm glad to have you back... I love you Rem" kissing me again. "I love you too" my voice sounded husky as I replied back to him, I leaned forwards kissing him back.

* * *

**A/N:** Hope you liked the story... I was quite happy with the outcome of it... Sorry about Cheesy beginning to this chapter...humm... Hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it... I also hope this one was easier to read than my last one... - Review and thank you... - x


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